Kicking the Old Stress Habit

Wow, is it *that* time already? I blinked and February was gone. It really was an extremely productive month though. I changed jobs at the end of January, so that has been an adjustment–one that has been good for me, but took some time to get used to just the same. But more importantly, I totally finished the rewrites I’ve been agonizing over for months! YES! I’m so jazzed about that! I had all sorts of bad self-talk going on over those rewrites, which is definitely not productive, so it feels amazing to have crossed that off my to-do list. HEY MA! I DON’T SUCK! 

I have been over it and over it in my head, trying to figure out why it took me so long to believe I could do it. I  mean, I have believed in this book from day one. From the moment it became words on a page. All I had to do was tweak some minor details. How could I get so close to success and just freeze like a deer in headlights like that? Well, I’ll tell you how: stress. Yeah, we all know stress is our friend. But you know, it really isn’t! It’s like a cancer, and we all know it kills, so why do we willingly subject ourselves to it. We should stop what we’re doing when we notice it and ask it: what are you doing here? And then get rid of it as quickly as possible if we can! But the funny thing about stress is how it gets under your skin and makes you think you need it. It can make you feel high on life. It can make you feel important. It can make you feel powerful! Get out of my way! My life is STRESSFUL, don’t you UNDERSTAND? Stress starts in your mind, and from there, it gets inside your body and spirit and starts to mess with you big time. It’s this awful chain-reaction. Stress. Poor sleep patterns. Coffee to wake up in the AM. Hurried pace. Tired at the end of the day. No energy to move your body. Stiffness and pain begins. Poorer sleep patterns. Extra sugar in the coffee to feel good. That cake looks freakin goooood! Sugar crash. More coffee to wake up, extra sugar because my tastebuds are so dead lately, what’s UP with that? Tired at the end of the day. Move your body–what? WHY? The couch looks so much better. Ooo, is that wine? Can I have some, honey? Thank you. Weight gain. And so on. I gained twenty pounds in the past two years because of my very own special version of the stress cycle. Twenty pounds that I worked VERY hard to lose a number of years ago, that I swore I would never put back on. Twenty pounds I know I can lose again if I just chill the f* out. So February was spent chilling out, getting my groove back, weaning myself off the triple threat of stress, caffeine, and sugar addictions, and just…being. I was kind to myself. I drank tea. Ate a lot of whole foods. I walked. Finished up my rewrites. I read four books. I reconnected with my family and some old friends I had forgotten to even miss. And finally, this past week, I’ve begun sleeping better. And losing weight. And feeling like writing again. February has been a looooong, but nice month in my little Happiness Project.