Write to be Real

I’m gonna out myself and admit that criticism scares the crap out of me. It literally stops me in my tracks sometimes. What can I say? I like to be liked. But over the years, I’ve learned that you can do two things as a writer: you can write to be liked or you can write to be real. Sometimes it’s the same thing, but more often it’s not.

You can write to be liked, or you can write to be real.

When you’re writing to be liked, you’re often censoring yourself. Just like in person to person interactions, you might not say exactly what you’re thinking. As a writer, you tailor your word choices and soften the foul language that people use so that it’s not gratuitous. You worry about endings and outcomes being politically correct or having “the right” message. This is especially so when writing for teens. I like very much to be liked. But when it comes to fiction … well, I just can’t do all that and be true to myself as a writer. I guess I like being real more than being popular.

Young adult authors are most often criticized for language, sexual content, drug use, and violence. I realize there are teens who don’t swear or have sex, and who have never witnessed abuse of any kind. I’m sure there are plenty of books written for them. But I didn’t know many people like that when I was a teenager, and my friends and I needed our own books. By the time I was 15, I cursed like a truck driver (I’m not bragging). I was in my first serious relationship. And I knew several people who had been violently abused. My friends and I were not sealed in a sanitized bubble. We were dealing with adult things. And NEWSFLASH: we did not make all the best choices. We barely even knew we had a choice! If our sorry little lives were a book, it would not have a “message” of any kind other than the fact that no matter how crappy today is, you get a fresh sunrise tomorrow. Hope is a powerful thing when you’re a teenager. Possibly more so than when you’re an adult and you’ve seen it all ten times over.

I just can’t dumb down the experience of my characters. As a writer, you have to know who you’re writing about, go with them, and tell the truth. Not everyone is going to be a fan. And that’s okay.

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